overeducated and underemployed

i don't say this lightly

But Step Up 2 The Streets surpasses the original. And, possibly, every Oscar-nominated film this year.

is it really love that's blowing here?

the devils in disguise

Because it starts on one of the HBO channels every, oh, 26 minutes, and because I am a sucker for flicks about cute girls living cute lives in cute clothes, I have been a bit obsessed with The Devil Wears Prada lately. And in my Prada-oversaturation, I have come to a realization: I hate "Andrea's" friends. I hate her boyfriend. What the fuck is their problem, begrudging a cute girl her cute life in cute clothes?

I mean, yes, she was late for that birthday dinner.  But come on! It was work! Okay, if we're going to get technical, there's always a "choice" to not do what your boss says, but wouldn't that choice involve a subsequent firing? Do these friends want her to be out on the streets? In ugly clothes?

Please, tell me I'm not crazy, because I'm starting to wonder if working in entertainment for so long has made me think that any request that fits under the umbrella of work is a reasonable one.

(Aside from those that would necessitate a lawsuit, of course.)

the punniest poster ever?

Congrats to the geniuses behind Cat Zeta-Jones-Douglas' latest, No Reservations. Not only is the title itself a pun, but they managed to squeeze no less than two further dazzlingly witty cooking references into the poster along with it! See if you can spot them.

My only disappointment is that the credits don't read like a menu.

Speaking of disappointments, y'all can't be missing me much, because apparently taking my place on this blog is a deluge of "Cheap Cialis!!1" comments. As the old saying goes, who needs a post from Megan when you've got Cialis at a price that didn't break the bank?

actresses who could have more convincingly played mother and pulitzer prize winner lois lane

Katie Holmes: Yes, even little Miss D.A. from Batman would have been better. Not because she can act all that well, but because she was born in the 70s, and is solid enough that I can imagine that being tossed around at high speeds in a falling plane might not kill her.

Carla Gallo: I've been watching a lot of Undeclared lately, and I realized two things. First, that show was fucking hilarious. Second, Carla Gallo has kind of disappeared, which is lame. She's cute, she's got sass, she's a natural brunette, and...brace yourself, she's 30. 30 year olds with children and careers?! Why that's downright sensical!

Charisma Carpenter: Tough. Has proven she can fight alongside anyone (which would have come in handy on that yacht). Wouldn't have let Superman off the hook so easy for that whole disappearing act he pulled (another issue I had with the movie). Hotter than Bosworth, and more than 10 years older. Whodathunk.

Dakota Fanning: Fine. You want young? Commit. Because honestly, this 12 year old is just as plausible as the Bos, and I think she's got the chops to pull it off.

Please, feel free to add in your own suggestions...the number of people who could have better acted/suited this role is near infinite.

rethinking the parent trap

Is it really wise to teach little girls that a fun practical joke is luring bears to your dad's fiancee's tent by covering her with honey? As though the only repercussion of this would be teensy teddy-like cubs waking your mommy to be with their tickly tongues, lapping honey off her toes?

Seriously, this was my favorite movie ever for a good year or two of my life. Luckily, I didn't spend too much time in the great outdoors. Instead, I focused my attentions on learning how to perform a guitar/piano duet with myself, which last I checked, cannot cause a mauling.

old movie reviews: garden state

Zach Braff, you are not blowing my mind, so take that smug look off your face. Yes, we're a numb generation. Though you took that quite literally (it's not just an emotional numbness, it's actual physical overmedicated numbness. get it? is this clear enough?), I will cede the point. How your character gets out of this numbness though...that's where we're going to have to chat. Because I just don't think surrounding yourself with contrived "quirky" friends who speak in platitudes, regardless of how adorable they are, is compelling. Yelling in a garbage bag...not compelling. The narrative of this movie relies on your character's journey and on the changes he makes. Changes are made, but why? How are they earned? Through the sage words of a hippy in a dried up boat house?

It's true, Garden State may have been ruined for me by the hype. For the love of Pete, Rotten Tomatoes gave it an 87% (now THAT blows my mind). Still, I can't help but think that it should have been right up my alley. A talky look at directionless 20-somethings? I'm there! Oh wait. A talky look at directionless 20-somethings without the humor of Kicking and Screaming, the drama of Fight Club, or the great Portman performance of Beautiful Girls? I just don't get it. Seriously, explain it to me, someone.

unfortunate taglines, volume 1

Seems like there's not a lot of conflict in Latifah's latest.

One wonders why they even shot the movie when the entire issue could be so neatly resolved in just nine simple words.

a piece of advice, however small

If you're looking to hold on to your holiday buzz, do not go see The Family Stone. It's far more depressing than funny and let me tell you, when you're not laughing, it's much easier to notice all the ridiculously unearned developments. You're probably better off seeing Munich as you had originally planned. Of course, in that last sentence, "you" equals me. Perhaps the literal you was planning to see something else entirely? Go for it.

sarah and the squid, an la story

It's Saturday night and the Solomonster and I are feeling indie. Our movie choices? The Squid and the Whale or Sarah Silverman: Jesus is Magic. Our Kicking and Screaming-fueled love for Baumbach carries the day, so we jump in the Hyundai and head out to the nether reaches of Los Angeles (which some people call Los Feliz) to catch Squid with a friend. We arrive at the theater, a narrow rectangle that evokes a living room with a big screen, only to discover that Sarah Silverman (and her fella, Jimmy Kimmel) are sitting two rows behind us. We feel oddly guilty for the rest of the movie, and vaguely self conscious of doing anything particularly unfunny. You know, like laughing in the wrong place, or, ummm...watching weird.

[ed. note: celebrity discomfort aside, i think we'd all highly recommend squid. as the solomonster said, it's the funniest and most insightful movie about a dissolving family and a deviant masturbator in quite some time.]