overeducated and underemployed

not to give anything away

But holy crap. Read Harry Potter, everyone, so we can discuss it. Soon. But not now. And not in the comments (I'm anti-spoiler).

Still, I repeat...holy crap.

three cheers for jon stewart

Thanks to last night's Daily Show interview turned ass-kicking I was introduced to Bernard Goldberg's list of The 100 People Who Are Screwing Up America. Please, peruse. Yes, it's obvious and easily refutable partisan crap. But look further, because while arguing how people like Jimmy Carter and Jonathan Kozol are great Americans (who have given so much of themselves to help those who are less fortunate than them) is a satisfying academic task, the question this superficial blogger would like to ask is what effing year is Goldberg living in? He seems to have unsubscribed from the cons "who are we irrationally blaming everything on now" email newsletter sometime in the mid-90's. Latrell Sprewell? Courtney Love? Barbara Streisand? Anna Nicole Smith? Harry Belafonte? Yikes. Pick up an issue of US Weekly Bernie. You see in "the future", we've got this Lindsay Lohan chick, and I think you are just going to LOVE her.

okay, don't judge

But I am seriously looking forward to reading Harry Potter this weekend. In honor of that, I have taken a number of highly scientific internet quizzes and discovered that I am every character in the series. Hoorah!

You are definately Ron! You are lucky cuz you got
the looks, the sense of humor, AND a nice
personality!  If you are a guy I absolutely
would LOVE you!

!!! The Ultimate Harry Potter Character Quiz !!!
brought to you by Quizilla

Harry Potter Personality Quiz by Pirate Monkeys Inc.

commence self concussing...now

Tin Tin kept at his mystery solving/reporting/dog-owning/cowlicking best all those years thanks to his many bumps on the head, says Canadian doctor with way too much time on his hands.

Claude Cyr, a professor of medicine at Quebec's Sherbrooke University, said a study of the 23 hugely popular Tintin books showed the intrepid Belgian reporter suffered 50 significant losses of consciousness during his many adventures. "We hypothesize that Tintin has growth hormone deficiency and hypogonadotropic hypogonadism (a disorder of the pituitary gland) from repeated trauma. This could explain his delayed statural growth, delayed onset of puberty and lack of libido," Cyr wrote. "We identified the cause of the trauma, the length of loss of consciousness (calculated by the number of cartoon frames before Tintin returns to normal activity) and the apparent severity of the trauma (indicated by the number of objects e.g., stars, candles revolving above Tintin's head)."

No wonder why he has remained, all these years, the cartoon I'd most like to date.

reading revisited

A new study from the American Library Association reveals the most commonly re-read books. The list includes The Color Purple, The Harry Potter series, Shakespeare's plays, The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, Pride and Prejudice, The Great Gatsby, To Kill a Mockingbird, Little House on the Prairie, A Christmas Carol, and Winnie the Pooh. The list is not ranked, and is based on the opinions of committee members and library patrons.

My personal re-reads would also feature Harry Potter, a ton of Shakespeare, and Pride and Prejudice. I'd have to add The Madeleine L'Engle Wrinkle in Time series, Still Life with Woodpecker, A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, Anne of Green Gables and all her misadventures...I realize I did most of my re-reading when I was much younger. I'm sure I pored over every Babysitter's Club installment a few times each.

Speaking of books you read and re-read in your youth, does anyone remember the absolute phenomenon of Go Ask Alice? That book was just so scandalous, I remember us passing it back and forth on our 6th grade class trip to Washington D.C. and being amazed by its contents. Still, I get the feeling kids don't read it much anymore.

harry potter and the now-wealthy novelist

As the distance between Harry Potter releases grows cruelly longer, readers must entertain themselves with just the smallest bits of wizarding news. J.K. Rowling announces that Book 6 will be "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" (not "and the Pillar of Storge" as was ridiculously rumored). Another piece of titillating info? "The half blood prince referred to in the title is neither Harry himself nor Voldemort." Oooo-ooo-oooh (that's supposed to be like a spooky, Scooby Doo noise, if you could kindly recreate that for yourself). Who could it be?

Is it bad that I wish Ms. Rowling was poor again, so she'd speed up the writing? Or that I think seven books is not nearly enough, and that we are all owed "Harry Potter: The College Years"? Followed by the New Class, wherein Neville becomes Dumbledore's wacky assistant.