3. Pick it up high, exhibiting the ease with which you can do so, and tilt it back ever-so-slightly, so as to alert certain better-award-encumbered cast members that you can and will throw this thing at their bitchy attention-stealing heads should the situation call for it.
4. Get drunk. Fall asleep. Wake up, still drunk. Put your coat on and get your ass to some photo shoot you're supposed to attend. Ask the photographer what the fuck you did last night, and why you're holding a symbol of your ex-girlfriend's heartbreak. Give him your patented "you have to be fucking kidding me" look as he snaps your photo. Pass out.