1. Wrap yourself in a dominatrix's shower curtain and cradle it like the baby you'll never have with Justin Timberlake.

2. Hold that crystal tear drop of dubious honor right under your eye, symbolically reminding America of all the heartbreak you have suffered and sobbed over in the past year.

3. Pick it up high, exhibiting the ease with which you can do so, and tilt it back ever-so-slightly, so as to alert certain better-award-encumbered cast members that you can and will throw this thing at their bitchy attention-stealing heads should the situation call for it.

4. Get drunk. Fall asleep. Wake up, still drunk. Put your coat on and get your ass to some photo shoot you're supposed to attend. Ask the photographer what the fuck you did last night, and why you're holding a symbol of your ex-girlfriend's heartbreak. Give him your patented "you have to be fucking kidding me" look as he snaps your photo. Pass out.



really though, what's with the shape of that thing? (funny stuff.)
Posted by: stop okay go | January 10, 2007 at 07:13 PM
Who the hell are the "people" who chose them? US Weekly?
Posted by: Paul | January 10, 2007 at 07:30 PM
Who the hell voted for Jennifer Aniston as their favorite?
The movie The Breakup..just shoot me.
Posted by: Rosemary Couser | January 11, 2007 at 06:42 AM
To Paul - You're the "people" - you just forget to vote, online, once a day. How come girls this stuff and guys don't. Geeeeeeeeez.
Posted by: Margaret | January 11, 2007 at 08:36 AM
McDreamy strikes the best pose with his award! :)
Posted by: kat | January 11, 2007 at 03:01 PM
Riotous comments! Thanks for the laugh!
Posted by: Lotta | January 11, 2007 at 08:26 PM
They look like they're all in heaven...
Posted by: Solomonster | January 11, 2007 at 09:38 PM
Vince Vaughn CRACKS me up!
Posted by: Kelly | January 16, 2007 at 05:33 AM
Hey...I'm supposed to be one of the animals...they won't tell me what I am or anything either, would love to know if you hear date and time of show or see any preview info, beyond what you guys have posted! I did six interviews...I hear I may be the first bleeped animal...they said I could be BLUE! Let me know! Thanks
Dr ARTGUY
Posted by: DrARTGUY | February 05, 2007 at 12:03 PM