Forbes Magazine asks: Why read an article about the best cities in America for singles when you can watch a slide show? Employee Megan asks: Why watch that slide show, when you can read snap judgements on the cities it presents, based on that slide show, immediately following this rambling opening paragraph?
Being single in Raleigh-Durham offers one the exciting opportunity of dining at the nearest Applebees with your remarkably racially diverse group of friends.
Alone in Seattle? Have no fear. There's always someone in a thrift-store ensemble staring forlornly into space pondering existential questions to share your umbrella with.
Singles in the live music capital of America spend their time looking suspiciously like tan Kristin Bell with a pompadour outfitted to play "teen girl who swoons over Conrad #3" in their high school production of Bye Bye Birdie.
#9 Washington D.C-Baltimore
Boozehounds. Every last umarried one.
#14 Minneapolis- St. Paul
OMG, I am so glad we're single so we are free to hang out in the mall foodcourt and eat nachos in scenic Minneapolis-St. Paul! Why are we all staring at this androgynously-haired person? Has he/she/it said something interesting? Who cares! We're single and free and in Minneapolis-St. Paul!
Unattached men and women in the windy city flirt dramatically, keeping their upper halves out of frame at all times in order to maximize the impact of their petulant hand to hip stance. "Just try to date me, wrap-top girl," they say from their hidden mouths. "I'd like to see it."
#29 Dallas-Fort Worth
Have you ever seen the HBO series "Cathouse"? You know when a customer comes in and that creepy old blonde woman rings a bell, and all the girls come out for "the line up"? That's what being a single woman in Dallas-Fort Worth is like.
#36 Salt Lake City
...Just like one long allergy medication/performace enhancement/herpes treatment ad.
Don't let the numeric difference fool you. Being single in Cleveland is exactly like being single in Raleigh-Durham.