overeducated and underemployed

the top ten cheneys of 2005

OandU's second annual pictorial homage to the year in Veep:

10. Eagle-Eye Cheney

9. One is the loneliest Cheney that you'll ever know.

8. Selective seratonin reuptake uninhibited Cheney.

7. Sleep-snarlin' Cheney

6. Boot-scootin' Cheney

5. Dick-teasin' Cheney

4. Cheney's best angle

3. America's Next Top Cheney

2. Don't push Cheney cause he's close to the edge...he's trying not to lose his head.

1. The snarl is a window to the soul Cheney

And this year's added bonus good luck Cheney (both topical and sexy): Save Arrested Develo-Cheney.

May your 2006 be blessed by the grace of the Veep. I look forward to bringing you his very best in snarls, sass, and sadness in the coming year!

belated indigantion

Screw you, NBC, for cancelling NewsRadio. And screw you, Brynn, for killing Phil Hartman. I know I was busy in college and you all thought you'd get away without incurring my wrath, but you underestimated the power of DVD. That's right, I got the first two seasons of NewsRadio for Christmas, and I am now pissed. Eight years later.

I umm...still haven't figured out where to direct this anger, but trust me, I will. And the day will be thusly rued.

a curious canine correlation

Clearly, the increased need for surveillance professionals has necessitated the president's hiring of...DOGS!

a piece of advice, however small

If you're looking to hold on to your holiday buzz, do not go see The Family Stone. It's far more depressing than funny and let me tell you, when you're not laughing, it's much easier to notice all the ridiculously unearned developments. You're probably better off seeing Munich as you had originally planned. Of course, in that last sentence, "you" equals me. Perhaps the literal you was planning to see something else entirely? Go for it.

on holiday

At this point, your office is empty, right? It's just you, and you're surfing the internet. So why not leave early and catch a movie at The Westwood Crest? The Crest is a single screen theatre with a very cool restored interior featuring a mural of the city and "shooting stars" in the ceiling. It is independently owned and could really use your support.

For the next two days you can catch Rent at the Crest, and starting on the 23rd, they'll have Munich. What could be more "LA Christmas" than catching up on your Oscar contenders? 80 degree weather, perhaps?

it's not you, it's me

I'm hoping that "church spokesman" Don Iloff is just a generous volunteer in Jesus' army, because otherwise his spin skills are somewhat lacking:

"In semantics, they might have been asked to be removed," he said. "Really, it was more of a mutual
thing."

Yes. Many times I have mutually agreed with the airline to deplane because, well, it just wasn't working out.

breaking the tie, breaking the tie

Dick Cheney runs all the way from Pakistan to screw students and the elderly.

Faster, Cheney! Kill! Kill!

gwen stefani, pioneer

I did not think it was possible for a child to be embarassed by their mother before the preteen years, let alone before birth.

And yet...in this ensemble apparently stolen from the last Color Me Badd video shoot, Gwen has made me a believer.

only twelve days left

...To pledge your allegiance to the Clippers. Need a little push? Enjoy this article about their thoroughly insane center, Chris Kaman:

"In a narrow side yard, there is an archery range. A Styrofoam target and plastic deer are at one end. Kaman, with a John Deere cap on backward, is standing 20 yards away and shooting from the other end."

"Just as the terminally unhip Clips are now cool, so is their center, a 23-year-old lug who is eccentric enough to be known to teammates as K-Pax, but delightful enough to laugh about it. Says Sam Cassell: 'Kaman is like a far-away island, farther than Hawaii, way, way out there.'"

"'Kaman is the kind of guy, he's like a giant bass, you give him slack, and give him slack, then you reel him in,' Cassell said. 'I yell at him because I believe in him.'"

Indeed. The Clips are fielding a giant bass yeoman from another planet. What's not to love?

woody's new muse

He knew they had something special when she not only taught him how to "talk to the hand", but also tolerated his continual insistence on asking her to do just that.