morning clips: it never rains in southern california edition

- Jeopardy announces plans to start a "Tournament of Champions," or "Tournament of Contrived Ways to Get Precious Ratings God Ken Jennings Back on Our Tired, Tired Show."

- Sharon Osbourne to talk about her "intimate bits," professionally.

- Paris Hilton's intense A.D.D. induced hatred of light shines new insight onto the employment of night vision whilst bedding her.

- Les Moonves puts world domination plan on hold to marry fiancee/worst reality show host ever,  Julie Chen.

- AP News reveals shocking truth: Europeans far cooler than us when it comes to bad words and boobies.