overeducated and underemployed

fun with yahoo news photos

Congrats America. This is what you're emailing each other today:

Culture shock, animal sex, and nip-slips. Stay classy!

ken jennings, meet your maker

She came from the 70's to wipe the smirk off your pasty Mormon face.

best headline ever

"Nick and Jessica Explain Themselves to the Family"

Ostensibly this is about their marriage, and whether or not it's on the rocks. But I like to envision it all going down kinda like this:

Lights Up

The Lachey family is gathered around their dining room table for Thanksgiving.

DADCHEY (leans over to son): So....who's the vapid virgin emeritus again?

NICK: Dadchey! That's Jessica! We went over this at the wedding.

JESSICA: You might not recognize me, because at the wedding, I was a princess!

MOMCHEY: Nick honey, let's never speak of that day again.

NICK: Listen Momchey. I respect you very much. But Jessica is my wife now, all right? Besides, she's just acting stupid.

JESSICA: It's ta-roo!

DADCHEY (muttering, to self): In a boy band, and he's got to do this to get laid? Even O-Town gets pussy.

JESSICA: This is delicious Momchey! What is it again?

MOMCHEY: Turkey.

JESSICA: Wow, that's neat. At my house on Thanksgiving, we sacrifice an ugly sister. But we ran out of them, so, here I am with you!

NICK: It's true. Ashlee barely made it.

JESSICA: That's what that song Pieces of Me is really about. It's not a smiley, we were going to chop her up.

NICK: Simile sweetie. And actually, that would be more of a metaphor.

JESSICA: What's a meta for?

NICK: You're such a good actress, babe.

Dadchey begins to beat his head against the table. Momchey sheds a single solitary tear as she starts to clear dishes. Nick and Jessica make out over the stuffing and cranberry sauce.

Lights Down

all aboard the seinfeld nostalgia train!

Isn't it funny that we can still get excited about a show that runs multiple times a day, every day of the week? Chalk it up to the nostalgic power of a DVD and a retrospective special in these sentimental holiday times. It's so strong that even NBC's Kevin Reilly fell victim (to his own trap!), watching the Seinfeld special and then guiltily vowing to support good comedy. It's like he's been visited by the ghost of comedy past, and is doing his penance before completing the cliched holiday cycle.

On a more straightforward note, ESPN gets wistful as well, with their list of Seinfeld's Best Sports Moments. Hernandez rules! (obvs)

two very important questions

Is not the "Yay! Pepto Bismol!" commercial wherein a group of seemingly healthy adults perform a mortifying ass and mouth plugging dance against stomachaches the most disturbing thing on the air today?

And, if so, why the fuck is that song in my head?

[ed. note: for the southerners out there, my image search for pepto bismol turned up a picture of the gaffney ass peach. ha!]

morning clips: aw, he's got an iron rod through his head and he's survived! edition

- Julia Roberts gives birth to twins, manages to eke out one normal name (Hazel) before being forced to reach back into her Flatliners-induced-med-student research for a second...Phinnaeus. 

- Disappointed with its quality over 25 years later, George Lucas wants The Star Wars Holiday Special banned. And yet, Jar Jar Binks remains hauntingly unchecked.

- MSNBC gives you the top 10 overrated stars. Can Tony Danza really be considered overrated at this point?

- Forget ODB. Is Jenny Lewis the new Neko Case? As in busy, talented, and loved by the fellas?

- Martha Stewart still a lady who lunches.

thanksgiving movie reviews

I can't decide if they were really all this entertaining, or if the glow of a four and a half day weekend just made me an easy critic....

Rented

Love Actually: Too many story lines, and a lot of swelling orchestral music, but still, really great. It's the world series of romantic comedies.

The Girl Next Door: Probably a half an hour too long, but I guess they needed that time to show more Elisha Cuthbert ( I get it, she's really hot). Still, for all of its ridiculousness, pretty funny.

In Theatres

Finding Neverland: Beautiful, entertaining, sad, and sweet. The climax doesn't really feel terribly climactic, but it doesn't matter, because Johnny Depp and the boys are so fun to watch. I want to kidnap the youngest one, he's the cutest thing ever.

The Incredibles: So much fun. I saw this in a packed theatre of adults, who were cracking up and clapping and cheering like kids. I hope the inevitable sequel doesn't ruin that.

wish granted*

USA Today profiles Grant Hill's glorious return to basketball. People get sick of hearing it, but really, it couldn't happen to a nicer guy. Here's to being able to hang my Hill rookie ornament (don't ask) on the tree this year without even a twinge of sadness.

*punnery courtesy of Sports Illustrated

they wrote the songs, vol. 2

Here I am again, getting oversentimental about long-forgotten tunes. Sound like fun? Then read on! This week's song is:

Our House, Madness
Our House was my favorite song when I was 5 years old, and probably one of my first forays into popular music. Later, in high school, when I started delving into the various waves of ska, it served as a familiar gateway from my then-current faves (Skankin' Pickle, Skavoovie and the Epitones) to past classics (The Specials, English Beat). Still, the thing about this song is that it really transcends the checkerboard rude boy niche. It's got that horn-section danceability, but it avoids the standard "pick it up" beat that can become tiresome. It's just great pop: the chorus is catchy as hell, the lyrics are fun and relatable...who didn't love trying to sing along to the speedy bridge section? Yup. 20 years later, Our House still puts a smile on my face.

for the few who watch everwood, and the even fewer who know anne of green gables too well

Slate discusses Everwood's Amy and Ephram, and the show's decision to endorse their pre-marital teenage sex. Good points all, but I'm really just glad the whole thing is over with. I don't think I could handle another episode of debate and awkward kissing.

Meanwhile, does anyone else recognize a little Anne's House of Dreams cribbing in the Dr. Brown/Anne Heche storyline? Her Amanda is a modern Leslie Moore...something tells me the wheelchair-bound husband wakes up from his stupor just as romance is blooming between these two.