overeducated and underemployed

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Here we've been, counting down to the O.C. manually, like suckas, when this exists. A digital countdown keychain? I work at Fox and I didn't even get hooked up with this hottness. Oh well. I guess I'll just have to content myself to basking in the glory of the giant premiere-ad display off the 405 South. Seth Cohen, you make the drive to Torrance bearable.

And now, the number 6 reason OandU is amped about the return of The OC:

6. We try to start fistfights on our own, but we're lacking that Newport flair, that certain je ne sais quois that turns a regular verbal altercation into an all-out brawl. You know, like at a restuarant, or a debutante ball, or a model home or whatever.

7. We're sooo tired of discussing people's "problems" and "lives" during our imaginary watercooler time.

8. One word. Brows.

9. New trends! Our wifebeaters are threadbare and our pointy flats all bent and scuffed.

10. Our North Shore viewing parties never really took off.

morning clips: all right all right all right edition

- Nick Lachey in not-waiting-until-marriage scandal! Frankly, if you're married to pretty vacant Jessica Simpson, you should probably get a little leeway in this department. And I have the perfect excuse... "I had to bang the porn star baby, I have acid reflux disease."

- Don't delude yourself into thinking that Matthew McConaughey is just that stoner dude that he always plays. I mean, sure. He has a ghost in his home that he named and chases around naked, but who doesn't?

- Happy Birthday Winona Ryder! For your 33rd, I got you a gift certificate at Saks Fifth Avenue. Just tell them that, it should work out fine (ha! Winona shoplifting jokes! I'm making up for the fact that I didn't blog back then.).

- The Bush campaign pirates Orleans tune "Still the One." Apparently the tune is good enough for Applebees and Burger King, but not Dubya.

those poor people

Cheney Springs Surprise Visit on Hawaii

They never saw it coming.

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The number 7 reason OandU is amped about the return of The OC:

7. We're sooo tired of discussing people's "problems" and "lives" during our imaginary watercooler time.

8. One word. Brows.

9. New trends! Our wifebeaters are threadbare and our pointy flats all bent and scuffed.

10. Our North Shore viewing parties never really took off.

so...that's it then?

Congrats to Red Sox fans, but, come on. That was anticlimactic, right? Game four? A sweep? Y'all could have given us two games full of Buckners and still won this thing. Are we really to believe that the curse held up for 86 years, and then the Babe just gave up in the 2004 World Series?

And the day after...what a letdown there. Why haven't we spun off our axis and gone crashing into space? Oh wait. Because it's still just baseball? Shut up!

[ed. note: no offense to my red sox homies...i feel the same way about ncaa hoops.]

bone crunching technology

There's always the sitcom joke about people accidentally getting radio reception through fillings or metal plates and the like. But would you ever knowingly ask for such a thing?

"...The SwiMP3 uses bone conduction to deliver audio. Bone conduction stimulates the fluids in the inner ear through any of the bones of the skull. The unit pulses soundwaves through the cheekbone."

Aaaaah! Keep your vibrating technology away from my face!

worker's comp!

I just stapled myself. My stapler was broken, and in attempting to fix it, I sunk one of those tiny, metal, paper-affixing spears right into the (then) happy flesh of my gloriously opposable thumb. I am now sporting two perfectly symmetrical wounds, like I've been bitten my some digit-obsessed vampire. Or Bunnicula.

My stapler? Still broken. And laughing at me, the fuck.

rock you like a hurricane

The Solomonster and I often debate what song we'll run out to when we're world class athletes. Bombs Over Baghdad has been a fave of the past. Lose Yourself is up there as well, unsurprisingly. On the stranger side, I'd love to take the mound to Hollywood Freaks or Fireplace, but that might not endear me to the fans.

While you're debating your own theme music, take a gander at this (old, yet) fun list of what baseball's best uses to pump them up.

Some highlights:

Hee Soep Choi, LA Dodgers

Eric Valent, NY Mets

Ruben Sierra, NY Yankees

And the dubious award for the Creed-iest team in baseball goes to: The Anaheim Angels.

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The number 8 reason OandU is amped about the return of The OC:

8. One word. Brows.

9. New Trends! Our wifebeaters are threadbare and our pointy flats all bent and scuffed.

10. Our North Shore viewing parties never really took off.

vote early and often

I've personally never experienced a long-line on election day. Frankly, I suspect I might love such a phenomenon. But, were I not the type to revel in the citizenry, out doing their civic duties, I might go touchscreen Kerry into office sometime this week. Seriously, at this point there is just no excuse to not vote.

[link via kerrytaleofsoysaysi]