rethinking your social lexicon

An irrelevant study reveals what annoying TV phrases your toolbox coworkers are most likely to quote at you. And while you're getting a reprieve on Soprano-terms like "fahgeddaboutit", there's not much time to celebrate when they're being replaced by the ubiquitous Trump-ism "you're fired" (insert hand gesture here) or the Janet Jackson coined "wardrobe malfunction."

This reminds me of when I used to work at Gap Kids. We'd get a new store cassette every month, and every month we'd look forward to the change over like Christmas. "Finally, an escape from June's boy bands and Vitamin C!", we'd cheer. And then we'd pop in July's tape only to find it sucked worse, after only one listen. So we'd soldier on through June for another four weeks, with the faint hope that August would provide us some relief. Which (unsurprisingly) it didn't.

Back to the topic at hand...if you find yourself consistently using a word or phrase that you can picture on a novelty t-shirt worn by a sixth grader, then please, take a second and find a suitable synonym. Spare those around you the daunting task of awarding your "clever" use of a buzz(less) phrase with forced titters of appreciation. I have a sneaking suspicion that we finally will "all just get along" the day no one ironically asks us to.

Comments

[Jason]

I'm sorry, I'm still using "The milks gone bad" and "Cold as Ice" from Chappelle's Show.

I can't give them up yet.

But people have been doing the Lil Jon bit and saying, "I'm Rick James, Bitch" for far too long. There are so many other good phrases to steal and they act like they've said it for the first time ever.

[paul]

Hey! What the hell am I supposed to do with all these slightly misspelled "You're Fird" shirts with pictures of Donald Trump on them?? I ordered 500,000 of them!

[megan]

If you could replace the "You're fired" shirts with a similarly themed "You've been released. I suggest you seek other empoyment, elsewhere" shirts, I'm there.

[Atticus West]

Oh my god, I worked at Old Navy and we did the same thing. We all spasmed when Tom Jones came on but you gotta had it to them for knowing a star when they saw one: there were three tracks by Jennifer Lopez and there by Ricky Martin before they were released to the public.