you know, you never hear the "hazing saved my life" stories

Listen up, greeks.

Last night, Cleveland Indians pitcher Kyle Denney was protected from a stray bullet that grazed the team bus by his handy white cheerleading boots. Let's jump straight past the who the fuck is shooting at the Indian's bus and the what the fuck are cheerleading boots questions to why the fuck was he wearing them? Well... he's a rookie. And in the Indians organization, that means dressing like a USC cheerleader, boots and all.

So, all you kappas and sigmas and such, next time you've got an alcohol poisoned freshman on your hands, remind the campus police that you haze to protect. From inexplicable stray bullets. And consciousness.