taking a bite out of iowa

The Bush in '04 Guide to Winning With Corn

Step One: Verify that this is in fact edible. Remind yourself that, pretzel incident notwithstanding, you can do this. You're a war president.

Step Two: Put corn in mouth. Consider taste. Make a mental note to tell Cheney you're never symbolically eating vegetables for this campaign again, "battleground state" or no.

Step Three: Go about your everyday activities, corn in mouth. Show how committed you are to eating this corn, to finishing the job you started. Also, notice how the cob handily prevents you from emitting any kind of sounds, words, or even sentences that might get you into trouble. Consider bringing corn to debate?

Comments

[Solomonster]

Comic gold! I hope to heaven that Bush eats corn at the debate. Fox News would still declare him the winner.