overeducated and underemployed

and then he says, "bury me upside down!" (cue laugh track)

PA's already clearing stage of throwable seating.

sweet nothings

Cheney, you slut!

[ed. note: apologies, but as the campaign ramps up the quality of cheney visuals has risen considerably, i can't ignore them. besides, it's either this or hearing/reading me drone on about the two-party system being broken...]

celebrity foils revived

How did I miss that XTina is getting married too? She's engaged to Jordan Bratman, an employee at her management company. While Aguilera "can't wait to get married" she also knows the art of a well-placed Britney shot and remarks "everybody else is jumping the gun. I don't want to jump into marriage yet."

I can't wait until the nation returns to the fervor of 1999's Christina/Britney hotness-debate with a more mature who's-the-best-housewife-debate. They're growing with their fans, and I appreciate that.

Meanwhile, Corey Haim has finally launched his counter attack to Feldman's now 3 years old appearance on The Surreal Life, with word that he was perhaps even more effed up than his 80's counterpart. Stick with it Coreys. While moments to reveal how emotionally crippled and weird you've become are few and far between, if you take advantage of each and every one, that comeback will happen in no time.

Or, if you want to speed things up, see if Nicole Eggert will get naked in a movie with you again.

real classy larry

Man, I hate this guy.

Get him, Mr. Met!

it's just two hours of your life, for a bit of megan's respect

I'll try not to dwell too much on certain events occuring in NYC as we speak. But it makes me really angry that John McCain joins the long list of people who will attack Fahrenheit 9/11 with gusto, and then admit that they haven't even seen it.

I don't care if you've seen clips, read reviews or been told tall-tales about it 'round the campfire, everything has a context, and you are missing that context completely. In doing so, you are doing yourself a disservice, because there are tons of valid points to make about Moore being disingenuous, you just need the ground from which to make them.

Duh.

peek-a-boo

Oh Cheney, you tease! You splendiferous gadabout!

afternoon clips: trying not to call anyone wacko edition

- Keira Knightly doesn't feel busty enough to be a Bond girl. Considering Disney didn't find her busty enough to be an Arthur girl, I'd venture to say she's correct.

- Michael Jackson selling Neverland because he is convinced it is bugged. Oh, and also because he's totally broke. Is anyone renting a one bedroom with roller-coaster that's okay for pets?

- It's not so much the content of this story as the way it's written that makes me love it so:

A billboard , which was hanging buy [ed. note: they just changed this to "by", those bastards] a chain, swung towards the 18-year-old star, missing her by only inches.

An insider reveals, "Lindsay burst into tears and said: 'That was so scary.'"

Thank you, insider, for that glimpse into Miss Lohan's psyche. Deeply moving.

- Nicole Richie hawks her anti-drug wares. Kids, if you're not listening to your parents (which is likely) there's a list of about a thousand people you need to go through first before settling on Nicole Richie as your source for enlightenment.

more memory-jogging

Apparently, Stephen Baldwin is at the RNC. I have very little interest in the RNC outside of the protests, celebrities or otherwise, but darned if this doesn't provide the perfect opportunity for me to relate a brief story regarding Mr. Baldwin, and his special, umm, charm.

Shortly after receiving this job (a gift from the heavens, via Baio) Stephen Baldwin came into the office. As anyone who stays abreast of Baldwin trivia knows, Stephen has accepted Jesus into his life in a major way. No more all night Bio-Dome ragers with Pauly Shore for him, this cat is giving all glory to God and playing it straight. So, it made sense that my Christian office-mate and he would have a bit to discuss, being part of the 1% religious minority in this industry. Indeed, Stephen's ginormous cross, which he wore over his ridiculously tight t-shirt, was the perfect segue into a chat on the very subject.

After covering the basics, my office-mate finally commented on Stephen's bling. "I like your cross," she said. To which Baldwin replied, in his best I wanna sex you up, for God of course, voice: "I like what it stands for."

a quick and potentially ridiculous question

Forget beach volleyball girl-on-girl action, the legacy of the Olympics for me is this lingering query: Why do we translate the proper names of nations into English? It makes sense when there are characters not used in our alphabet, but otherwise I'm not sure I understand. Is Espana so much harder than Spain? Is Lithuania any less foreign-sounding than Lietuva? It seems to me that there shouldn't be an English version of those words, they only exist in that language really, so we should just go with it.

Am I nuts?

probably the most photogenic man ever

Snarl you sexy bitch!

Get more Cheney, here, here, and here. We will not rest until we are your number one source for awkward and uncomfortable Cheney photography.