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Ralph Macchio, searching for a room number....
....Followed by the Barenaked ladies, calling and answering.
Clueless interns strewn about the hall filing poorly and daydreaming about modeling....
....Shortly thereafter, a phone call from an equally clueless writer who is working on a Family Guy spec and is looking for Seth's number. (Ha!)
GOD my job is so effing glamorous, I can't TAKE it. (again, Ha!).
Why is Theresa Heinz calling shenanigans on her cookie recipe? Perhaps because (robot) Laura's treats look much yummier.
And then again, perhaps it's because I (like so many others) will decide my vote on election day, based on an outside the polls blind taste test.
-The Bangles are honored by Paul McCartney. Let me repeat: The Bangles. Honored. By. Sir. Paul. McCartney.
-Giant Microbes, for all your friends! Snuggle up with stuffed animals in the shape of diseases, from common "maladies" such as athlete's foot to exotic "calamities" like ebola. And heck, why don't you go and buy your microbes with the new Usher debit card. It won't be the first time the R&B star is associated with kissing disease. (tee hee, tee hee).
Yes, there is a buried cat here my friends, and by that I mean, something is up. About thirty things are up. These "things" are included but not limited to: my extended family being in town, the Solomonster's family being in town, a rehearsal dinner to plan, amusements to enjoy, college friends to get drunk with (sorry X-Man, I don't have any pics with you), and a comedy show to rock in little over two weeks. I've set myself a crazy post count standard hereabouts, and it's one I take pride in, but regrettably, I don't foresee maintaining it between now and August 14th. I mean, look at me. I'm padding today's work with a big pity-me post as we speak.
Here are some links, minus the commentary. I think this will be my O.P.B. feature. As in, you down with O.P.B.? This will be a fun experiment- you can go check them out for yourself without the bias of whatever brilliance I've already dropped on you (just jokes!).
First: Yes, I do.
Second: Dude, I like when you talk about politics. It gets the people buzzing.
Third: I miss her. Help her find some vintage clothes in New York, even if the whole idea of it sounds so hipster it kills me.
Fourth: At the playground (you know?) That's where I saw this cutie, this girl was swinging and she looked so fine. (link via negro, please).
And finally: The Simpson camp should give Ashlee that Phyllis Diller hair. Then she'd really look different than Jessica.
- Bad news for Clipper country. And I was sooo looking forward to seeing Moesha hanging courtside with Malcolm.
-Try not to laugh. [Diana DeGarmo] fell down a flight of stairs during a gig at the Van Andel Arena in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Medics took DeGarmo to a local hospital where X-rays confirmed she hadn't broken any bones. The 17-year-old is currently recovering from severe bruising according to a statement from her reps, putting the nation at ease.
- Could Ewan MacGregor get any hotter? Sigh.
- "There are two Mary-Kates in crisis: One is the fragile 18-year-old who was released this week from treatment for an eating disorder. The other is a coke fiend." Oh wait, that's not it. "The other is Mary-Kate the product, half of the multimedia Olsen twins empire that has been shaken by her personal troubles."
And yet, the Tweens stick by all the Mary-Kates. The struggle, it makes her more human, you see.
Last night's premiere of UPN's Amish in the City revealed not a horrifying exploitation of sweet young hillbillies as feared, so much as a glance at reality show casting gone so very wrong. The six "city kids" chosen to live in Los Angeles with five Amish teens on rumspringa represent every over the top Bunim Murray created stereotype and then some. Take, for example, Ariel, the vegan raw food waitress who is "considering attending college." After hearing her remarks on cows, dairy, and Abraham Lincoln (to paraphrase: "I bet he died young."), there's little question that few colleges will be considering her back. Or gay club-promoting diesel-jean-happy Reese, who hits on Kevan, then hits Kevan, and then pulls himself together to perform the most amazing feat of spazzed out speed shopping ever witnesed by man.
It's really sweet to see Mose and Ruth experience the beach for the first time, or Jonas take a stand against the city kids trash-talking ways. I want to put them in my pocket and keep them tucked away from those mean urbanites. Had this not been shot months ago, I could probably locate their modern hillside abode above Ventura Blvd. (Laurel Canyon? Fryman?) and do just that. Sans-wayback machine, I'll have to content myself to watching in amazement, and shedding a solitary tear for my Amish peeps under fire. I liked your beano stick Mose! Resist the peer pressure! Wear a life vest!
Though not nearly the disappointment of last week, Big Brother and The Amazing Race still provided a number of frustrations. First, on Big Brother, Brad Pitt-obsessed Jase and string-around-the-elbows-wearing Scott continued their dominance of the game, turning Drew's seemingly heartening nominations of Holly and Nakomis into yet another opportunity for homoerotic bonding and assertion of four horseman force. I am not a Diane supporter, but she got screwed last night. Also, my earlier hopes that Holly was a ditz, but the nice fun kind, have completely been dashed. That voice, that hair, those clothes...she's unbearable.
Continue reading "brad pitt, fish eggs, and the return of reality tuesdays" »
Through the cunning of various friends of friends who may or may not have current issues with Lookout Records, I have obtained, listened to, and fallen in love with Ted Leo's new cd, scheduled to be released in October. The in-depth review from a person who feels but can't articulate music?: it's really good. A little harder and a little more punk (but like in a good old school way) than some of his previous work with the Pharmacists, but still with great distinctive melodies and of course, that crazy Ted voice. I've only had time for one listen, but I especially like the message and passion of the title track, Shake the Sheets. What with the current political climate, isn't it about time we had a return of socially conscious intelligent rock?
- "Who better" to preside over the Teen Choice awards than Paris and Nicole? How about people who experienced slightly realistic childhoods who aren't incredibly poor role models to teens?
- Oh R.E.M., just stop. Okay, fine, release the album, but don't go on tour again. Mike Mills had to sing all the high parts last time around and it's not going to be getting any better two years later. Even the Solomonster would agree.
- OandU correspondents report that Hilary Duff has taken to singing the Who's "My Generation" on her current tour. While we're tempted to echo their sentiments that she "die before she gets old" for commiting such a heinous act, we're too curious about her plummet from fame/Hollywood Squares years to wish such a thing. Yet.
Check out this hott email I just got from Bill Clinton:
Dear Megan,Here is what the history books will say about John Kerry's 2004 campaign. They'll say we had a remarkable candidate determined to take the White House back and lead America in a new, more promising direction. [They'll say that he was no Bill Clinton. Between the sheets. Ha ha, you know that game? Where you add on "between the sheets?" Oh, sorry...]
[ahem]And, they'll say that John Kerry's winning campaign was driven forward by people like you -- people who sensed the moments when he needed special support and, every time, matched his strength with their own willingness to act. [---People who saw Fahrenheit 9/11, freaked out, abandoned their third party ideals and made a decision to support a group that they realized emphatically misrepresents them not 5 years ago.]
We are in one of those moments right now. Last night, as I addressed the Democratic convention, I tried to do my part to advance John Kerry's campaign. Today, I am writing to urge you to do yours. [Financially. Sexually.]
