sister, sister

So, it has now become painfully clear: we are looking at a good month sans-Olsen. Who are the sisterly duos who will aim to fill the power vacuum left behind with their multi-hyphenate "talents" and wholesome/teetering-into-slutty good looks? O and U takes a look at The Sisters of Summer.

1. Hilary and Haylie Duff: Strike one against the Sisters Duff- I had never heard of Haylie until about a week ago, when I saw a video for their fairly heinous cover of "Our Lips are Sealed" Strike two- Haylie looks like Hilary, only a little off, which feels weird, and fails to fulfill the appeal of Olsen symmetry.

2. Jessica and Ashlee Simpson: The queens of MTV reality. Jessica plays dumb blonde, Ashlee plays serious artist, neither come off all that well. At this point, if we're looking at Olsen twin spot-stealing ability, Jessica's complete and utter legality (she's ancient!) might be holding these two back. That, and Ashlee's irritatingly spelled name and ludicrous hair.

3. Tia and Tamera Mowry: Thought they might be worth a little research, given their actual twin-hood. But they're so off the radar that half the links I found for them are no longer valid. So, moving on....

4. The Pointer Sisters: Jump, jump for their aging love! Alright, so there's three of them and they haven't been seen in years. But maybe, just maybe, the universal inbalance created by the Olsen twin's departure from the public eye has created the exact right elements for a comeback. They are family y'all. They are SO excited, and they just can't hide it.

5. Lindsay Lohan and Lindsay Lohan's Boobs: The strongest contenders to take the Olsen's place in America's hearts as actresses/singers/kinda icky sex symbols. Sure, Lohan doesn't technically have a famous or even semi-famous sister, but both the size and cult status of her breasts provide the second persona necessary to make her Olsen-worthy. Coming up: Lohan costars with her boobs in Herbie: Fully Loaded, Dramarama, Gossip Girls, Fashionistas, Mean Girls 2, and other sassily named teen movies. Also, look for her to further explore a music career, with her boobs dutifully singing back up.

Comments

[X-Man]

No London twins? They don't have the whole "female" thing going for em, but I think Jason is pretty dreamy...

[Hilary]

I am so glad to know I'm not the only person who thinks Ashlee's hair is beyond horrible.

[chris]

definitely no worse than stevie nicks' hair at ANY point