9-0-2-1-0...Take Off Your Pants!

Oh, the beautiful Hills of Beverly. A place where one might expect to see movie stars, rock stars, or rap stars smothered in platinum and hos. But would one expect to see a naked man running and screaming through the streets? Surely this type of thing would be reserved for a European futbol game or UNC. The last thing I expected to witness from my office window would be the Beverly Hills Streaker, but there he was with his weiner to the wind.

Thankfully, I was busy not working, and ran outside immediately. When hijinks abound I am not one to miss out. Especially if they are naked hijinks. I'm not exactly sure what BHS's malfunction was, but he appeared to be tweaking out on some kind of controlled substance. I'm told that taking acid will make you take your clothes off with fear that things are crawling allover your body. What kind of things? Bugs? Worms? I've never dropped said acid before, but I like to think that I'd come up with something a little bit more creative than the common ant. Imagine being covered in duck-billed platypi! Now there's a reason to shed clothing. (As though any reason was needed.) Maybe BHS didn't think he was covered in creatures. I think he thought he was a banana and he needed to peel himself in order to run faster in the Beverly Hills Banana Marathon. Although, this doesn't explain why he was screaming. Bananas probably just like to scream a lot.

So, of course, the cops show up and have to ruin all the fun. The cops cornered him, but BHS made a mad dash for freedom. Unfortunately, he tripped and fell. More unfortunately, there were bushes blocking my view and the last thing I saw was the cop striking the, now out-of-sight BHS, with his baton. I am now left with the vision of the police brutally beating a man banana while he screams: "I just wanted to reach the finish line! WHY GOD, WHY?!?!?!